thoughts

this could be dangerous...

i feel like God's been doing A LOT in my life lately even thought i'm not sure what it is yet. there's been a lot of God calling me to change something about myself and then me pulling it back from his hands. i think i'm getting better at letting go, i'm just not there all the way -- it's a genuine struggle. 

i don't know, i look to the future as this BIG, black hole. it's scary and dark and i'm not sure where to step. i just keep praying that God will light the way and guide me in the direction that he wants me to go. although i know the importance of action too. there's always a balance... i think that's another thing that God's trying to teach me - when is it ok to take action vs. waiting patiently on the Lord? 

there's nothing wrong with having questions like that as long as we keep focused on the Lord. i don't want doubts or big questions like that to plague me and think differently about my Savior. i'm learning more and more his promises and i'm asking him to make them a reality in my life. we shall see what that looks like.

another thing: boasting in our weakness. this is something that i need to refine. i'm weak! we're ALL weak! we just need to admit our weaknesses and embrace them because then and only then can God show his power in our lives. how can God's glory be revealed if  we're not willing to admit that we had no power over what happened? and all God wants is glory - no big deal right? our humanness wants to claim it as our own though. that's the problem. God is bigger then anything that we could ask or imagine so obviously we don't have the power to make something we can't even imagine happen! CRAZY! 

i guess im trying to wrap my puny mind around this BIG God that i serve and that will never happen this side of heaven (and i'm not sure i'll even understand him entirely in heaven either). i guess all of my questions will have to wait. all i know is that God is bigger then me and he's got everything taken care of. it's just hard to remember that in the midst of what i call chaos.

tunes: from the inside out by hillsong